Let me preface this blog by saying I don't mind the Winter season. I actually kind of like it. I like watching the leaves turn different colors, watching plants die, and seeing how depressed everyone is because it's so cold. But seriously, I do enjoy the Winter season. It's a time to put on long, comfy clothes, spend time with family, watch people get sick because everyone is stuffed inside all the time, it's awesome! OK, for real this time, I like cold weather to a certain degree (no pun intended). It's a time for football, listening to people devote their life to a college sports team (which is really stupid because none of the coaches or the players know hardly who any of the fans really are and I can't believe people actually get depressed over a sport which should have no influence on whether or not I am happy, again, that is stupid) cleaning frost off my windsheild (which makes me late for work), and risking my life driving on icy roads is always an adventure. I don't mind all that. But one thing that is the absolute worst is:
The cold toilet. I can't stand those cold toilets. They freeze my buns off! Even if the heat is on, the toilet is always cold. I guess because they are connected to the cold pipes which run underground or through the attic or to the garage. I never look forward to pooping during the winter season. I always hold it as long as possible. And when I can't hold it any longer, I creep my way into the bathroom, and just before I sit, I take two deep breaths, and just go for it. It's the only way. It's similar to ripping off the band-aid. As Seinfeld said, "One motion - right off!!!" Then I get chill bumps all over my body. My eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. It's no fun. But I make it. I don't mind everything else, but that cold toilet is the worst!
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3 comments:
"why are you sooo WEEEEEIRD" haha
but seriously...i married a strange boy. but this is actually pretty funny! so good job. i have a solution for you, lay strips of toilet papeer onto the toilet seat. esp in a public one those are gross anyways! love you u werido. amy
i'm sad you didn't write your blog today. i cried.
Your hilarious Robert and Im trying to follow your dang blog and I cant for the life of me figure it out...geezzz. I clicked on Andrew's and it was easy but I dont see that thingy on yours...whateva. Stay warm!
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